When is enough, enough?

I have a father, whom I can best describe by telling you to watch the movie "Beautiful Minds" He is like a Chamelion, only in human form. It is because of him that my mother, brother, and myself re-located to California in April of 1998. People may not hink that I am strong in my faith in God, and what the scriptures say, but I am. And God says to forgive. I have forgiven my father for the awful things hes done, but I will never forget. Untill now I have trusted what he says is true, I believe him when everyone has told me not to. I was warned by everyone who loves and cares for me that he wouldnt come through once again, and that I would be hurt for the umteenth time, but I chose not to listen. I would make excuses for this man who God chose to be my father. My mind cant even start to try and fathum how someone can be like he is. He says what he knows people want ot hear. He does what he thinks will make people closer to him. The man he is today is not the man he was raised to be, or the man eberyone knew. He lives in a false reality full of twisted lies, betrayel, and manipulation. He and my mother have not been married since 1999, yet he still does everything in his power to bash on her, put her down, and trys to ruin her life. WHY is my question. He beat her, he cheated on her, he almost killed her, yet on his myspace page he claims it was the other way around. He has even led his current wife to believe his garbage. He has always claimed he loves my brother and myself, but not once has he flown out here to visit, not for our Graduation, not even for my Wedding, his Only Daughter. He never sent us anything we had to leave behind that we asked for. Hed buy us things that ment nothing to us when he did decide to send something. He never sticks to his word with either of us. He wont even allow us to visit, fearing we will tell his wife who he really is, which arent our intentions, he is the one who will be held accountable at the gates of heaven if he infact makes it there. I know it is a sin to have hatred in your heart, but this man God made my father gives me alot of that in my heart. Why is it that he cant just be okay with the fact that my mother is BEAUTIFUL and LOVING, and has provided my brother and with the best life she could. We turned out to be GREAT people because of HER. Why does he feel he has to lie and act like he is God, like he has "people" that are linked to EVERYTHING. He lied to our family when our Grandmother died on Christmas Day, saying we didnt want to come out for the services, yet told us there wasnt going to be ANYTHING going on per my Grandmothers "wishes". The list could go on and on and on. I have FINALLY said, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I am Happily Married to my Bestfriend, my life is great, my brother is an AMAZING Man, and my mother IS THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS. We dont need him in our lives lie'n about EVERYTHING, even things we could care less about. I cant live my life the way it is when he is in it. He doesnt even deserve to be. Saying this and getting this out is one of the hardest things an only daughter could ever have to do. God only gives us 1 earthly father, and unfortunitly my "father" failed that mission in his life, and he will live with that(or he wont even care) the rest of his life. My brother wont stop talking to him. He feels nomatter what my father does doesnt give him the right to write him off. I feel by me cremoving him from my life will only make me a better person, because I truly cant handle him and all that comes along with him any more. Regardless if that makes me a bad person or not. Enough is enough. I shouldnt be the only one being true in this relationship, and minds games and lies arent things I want in my life. So I am asking for prayer for this lost lost man, for myself, my brother, and my mother. He has hurt to many people in his day, and for once he is nolonger able to hurt me anymore. From here on out he will continue to bash and hurt my mother, and lie to my brother, which will hurt me, but he wont be in my life any more than that. He will never be able to be a grandpa, a father, or a fahter in law. And that was a decision he decided to make. The man I call my Father made it to heaven in November of 2002, and is waiting for me, his 3rd daughter for when my time to join him comes!!

Weird/Random facts about me!!

Here are the rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


Werid/Random Facts about me.......

1) I perfer my hair to be up if its curly, but if I straighten it, I like it down or half in a clip!!
2) On occasion I swallow my gum!!
3) I dont have a nail on my left hand ring finger.(your favorite finger when your married)
4) I have lost 15 pounds, and have 20-25 more to go!!
5) I am addicted to Big Brother!!!
6) When I drink soda, if it goes flatt at all, even slightly, or if it gets warm, I wont drink it.
7) I LOVE Artichoke/Spinich dip, its YUMMY!!!!

Being a Wife

I have been a wife for almost 3 years now. The road to where we are now hasnt been the perfectly paved, we've hit a few pot holes, road blocks, and detors, but we have managed to work through it without killing eachother!! We were told that marriage wasnt going to be easy, and the people that told us that were right, it isnt. I have found that marriage isnt something you can learn about from a "Marriage for Dummies" book, it's something that you just have to take day by day. I always wanted to be the "Perfect" wife, the one with has dinner on the table everynight, breakfest and coffe ready every morning, the house always spotless(thanks to my O.C.D, it always is!!) 24-7 perfectness, no flaws, no mistakes, always the BEST wife for my husband. I felt that if I wasnt he would find someone who was. Well reality is I was this way for the past 3 years, and have FINALLY come to realize thats not really what being a "wife" is always about. I was always so worried about everything else that the things that really mattered were being overlooked. I have in No way been a "bad" wife throughout all this, just focused on the things I thought were important. Finally I have seen the light and now that Im not so worried about the "little" things married life is sooo much happier. I am blessed to be married to the man God chose for me to spend life with, he is my Bestfriend, my rock, and the love of my life. Where I am weak he is strong, and where he is weak I am strong. I look foward to falling asleep with him at my side and knowing that when I wake he will still be there, till death us do part. Say what you mean, and mean what you say!!!